What Happened to Orochimaru?
by bocefaus
Summary: Updated And better than ever.


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Hey, I know this is the same story, but it's a better version. Nothing belongs to me, and a big thanks to uberhaxxor of pwnage for the spelling inhancement. On ward to the story.

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Time and setting: right after Orochimaru left the village.

"Hmmmm. . .So now what? I will have the truths of the world, but where the crap do I start?

"Well, maybe I'll join a gang.

"No, no, then I'll more than likely get weak due to comrades watching my back.

"Right, so what do you suggest we do?

"Well, on second thought, maybe if were in a weak group then we'll kill them when the time is right.

"Now that's a Great Idea.

"Of course, I did think of it."

Orochimaru stopped and a sweat drop went down his head. "I really need to learn to stop talking to myself, I creep myself out when I do that." And with that he went on his way.

A few days passed and Orochimaru came across a dead ninja, red hair and his body ten feet from his head. "Poor kid must have bit off more than he could chew." he looked to the left and saw another dead body, recognizable as the Kazekage. _So he was battling the Kazekage and succeeded where I am too weak to dream about yet._ "He died a strong ninja. . .he should be alive to get stronger." He looked to his left and his right, nothing. "Well. . .bugger! How am I supposed to use reanimation if there isn't a soul in sight?" With a sigh he pulled out a scroll and summoned a work bench. "Well, time for the next best thing." He grabbed the kids body and head and a puppet he had found. Three minutes later. . ..

"ARISE MY PUPPET, ARI-*muffle*." He found a hand on his mouth.

"There is no need to shout, I can hear you just fine." The puppet said. He then raised himself from the bench. "I thank you for restoring me back to life. May I have your name?"

"Yes, of course, it's Orochimaru." He said casually. "Care to tell me your name?"

"It's Sasori." And with that he left with the Kazekage.

". . ."

Howling wind.

"Well that's a heck of a welcome; you oughta at least be a little grateful other than a mere thank you" Orochimaru mumbled.

"I'll send you something, don't worry." Sasori said.

"Uuuuhhhmmmmm. . .you heard me say that?" Orochimaru said, with a sweat drop. When there is no reply he decided to go on his way.

A week later, somewhere in the Hidden Village of Waves, Orochimaru came across a man with peach-colored skin, green eyes, black hair, and a huge sword wrapped in bandages with a metal glove on his hand. He was staring into the ocean with a sad look on his face. Orochimaru thought he might as well see what was the matter with him. _If I'm nice to people maybe they can come in handy when it's time to rule the world-hahahahaha!_

"Hey, something wrong?" he asked as nicely as he could.

"And why should you care, huh?" The man said, sounding as though he'd been let down before.

"Well. . .ummm. . .you see. . .I'm just trying to be nice. _'Mental note: think of excuse before offering help.'_ The name's Orochimaru by the way." He said with a serpentine smile.

"The name's Kisame, and here's how you can help me: put a kunai straight my chest!" He almost yelled, nearly startling Orochimaru out of his skin. "I'm one of the seven mist swordsmen and I can't swim, I can barely lift my sword, and even if I could it won't let me hold it!" Now he was yelling.

"No need to yell, I can help you, you know." Orochimaru said.

"How?" Kisame was a little suspicious.

"Trust me, I won't steer you wrong. . .heheheh." Then out of nowhere, he jabbed Kisame with a tube of some sort of liquid. And like the Hulk (sort of), Kisame turned into a half shark, half human thing. . .y. "There. It's over. Now you can not only swim but breathe in the water." Kisame was looking at his hands and looked over the bridge. He picked up his sword with a bare hand and was able to hold it.

"Well well well, this is a surprise." Kisame smiled then wacked Orochimaru over the head. "THAT'S FOR MAKING ME BLUE AND HALF SHARK!!!!!! Oh hay, thanks, by the way, do you want to be part of Akatsuki? I can probably get you in."

Orochimaru was wobbling left and right. "S-sure, but you-hu-hu-hu can drop the clone act n-now; I know you're the one on the far le-left." He then looded up. "Oh look. . .stars in the middle of the daaayyyyy. . ." *thump*. He fell flat on his face.

"Hey, uhhh. . .you alright?" Kisame asked, a little concerned. _I didn't hit him that hard, did I?_

"Of course Kisomu. I-I-I'm as dandy. . .as a dandelion. In fact I could sing r-right now." Orochimaru said dizzily.

"Uhhh, please don't." Kisame said while carrying Orochimaru to the closest base there was.

"Carry oooouuuunnnnn m-my wawerd ssssoooouuuunnnn."

"*sigh* This is going to be a looonnnng day." Kisame panted.

Three days later, Orochimaru came up to (what he thought) a blond chick. "So gorges how about you and I get something to eat after the meeting, huh?" the person looked at Orochimaru.

_Another one, hm. Well lets see how he likes this, hm._ In a girlish voice. "Why sure, hm. In fact" running his finger up his coat "why not try and slip away now, hmmm?" said in a seductive voice.

Holding back from laughing, "Ka-Kakuzu, bet *snicker* bet you five bucks heheh he runs screaming like a little girl." a white haired young man whispered to the guy beside him.

Laughing on the inside, calm on the outside. "You're on Hidan."

"*Giggles* One thing before we go though." put his hand beside of Orochimaru's face (not on it, near it, I don't do yaoi or yuri). In his real man voice he said, "I'm a guy, hm." And his hand's tongue licked Orochimaru. Next thing you know Orochimaru was on the ground passed out and everyone was laughing their butts off.

"HAHAHAHAHAH!! Here's your f-f-five bu-bucks hahahahah! It was worth it!" Hidan almost died laughing.

"Hahahah-ugh" Kakuzu fell on the floor, twitching slightly, then quickly got back up. "Ahem-I'm alright, need to find a new heart, but it was worth it, heheheh."

"Hooh, that was good! Not every day I get to give a fella a heart attack. Not speaking about

Kakuzu." Deidara said wiping the tears away from his eye.

The next day; after the fight with Itachi.

"GAAAHHHH!!!!! What the ******* **** was that for, ok I was trying to steal your Sharingan, but MY ARM!!! DID YOU HAVE TO CUT MY ******* ARM OFF YOU ******* PRICK!???!!!!"

Itachi just stared at him. "Hmph. Tsukuyomi." Then the pair were immediately transported to the nightmare realm. "Quick question before we get back to the story, Orochimaru-do you realize this fanfic is rated T for violence, not language?"

"Oh come on lay off, we have ****** censors to block that ****. Chill." Orochimaru said offhandedly.

"Those censors are for Hidan, and they aren't cheap. If Kakuzu knew you were using Hidan's censor time he would kill you." Itachi was a little worried, but didn't show it.

"Fine I'll stop. Promise."

And with that, back to the story.

Orochimaru quit Akatsuki. Everyone says it's because of Itachi, but it was actually to stay away from Kakuzu.

Five hours later, Orochimaru came across a small boy wearing big glasses. He was obviously under some kind of genjutsu. When Orochimaru released the genjutsu the kid looked like he was lost.

"Ummm. . .excuse me sir, but who are you?" The kid asked.

"I'm Orochimaru, and you are. . .?" He asked.

"I'm Kabuto. I lost my parents when I was a kid. But I do know some pretty good medical jutsus." With that the kid made some hand signs and a dead man's hand came through the ground. He cut the arm off and put some sort of sign on it. He saw Orochimaru was curious. "It's the summoning sign of Manda- the king of snakes." With that he attached the new arm to Orochimaru- much to the older nin's shock and alarm.

Orochimaru tried the hand out. He grasped the air, punched the air and bit the thumb to see if it bled. It did. "Good job." Orochimaru said, impressed. "Quite an ability for one at such a young age. Kid- I mean. . .Kabuto. . .how would you like to take over the world and unlock its truths?" He asked with a serperntine grin.

"That would be cool, can I?" Kabuto asked.

"Of course, stick with me and you will not be disappointed." And with that, they were off to who knows where.

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Well here's the updated version, don't forget to thank haxxor for it. By the way, check out uberhaxxor of pwnage's storys, if you're an Orochimaru fan you'll love her storys. I think they're good myself. Oh before I forget, Read and Review please. Have a good day


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